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I woke up in this morning and pondered about the rats.  I wage an odd war on the rats.  I tolerate them until they do something annoying like chew the cap off my bottle of cooking oil and spill it all over my dishes or leave droppings on  on my bed.  This angers me.  The killing floor opens.  I mix some rat poison with sugar, powdered milk and ground corn in one of the little altoids tins I have left over from care packages.  I put the little tin under my stove because that is where they love to hang out.   They run into the side of the stove making loud banging nouses as if someone were slapping the side of the stove all night and keep me awake at night.  Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and chase them with a piece of plywood.   I also have been known to thrown knives at them.   I hate the rats.  This morning I heard one of them chewing on something.  It is time for a new campaign to begin.

The rats running around my house at night sound like they are this big. In reality, they are normally a little under a foot or long including tail.


  1. maikerinaye wrote:

    Yuck…. rats are gross 🙂

    Tuesday, September 13, 2011 at 9:42 pm | Permalink
  2. Pedro Grande wrote:

    What the?! Um, never saw those before. Are those indigenous to Picos Riba? Geez, man. Time for some firearms?

    Wednesday, September 14, 2011 at 12:42 am | Permalink
  3. mattk wrote:

    Ha, no they are, thankfully, from somewhere very far away. I had no pictures of rats handy, so I had to lift from the internets.

    Friday, September 16, 2011 at 7:41 pm | Permalink
  4. Denny wrote:

    I hope the rat trap we sent got there and the rats are history? I don’t think you’ll get your mom in your place unless you get rid of the rats.

    Thursday, November 3, 2011 at 6:05 pm | Permalink
  5. mattk wrote:

    I got the rat trap. Thank you! The big rats are going down. The little ones are too tiny to set it off, but I am not all that worried about them anyways.

    Wednesday, November 9, 2011 at 10:11 pm | Permalink
  6. Mom wrote:

    rethinking visiting! Hate hate HATE THOSE NASTY CRITTERS! So why were Sammy Davis Jr, Frank Sinatra, etc. called the “Rat Pack”?

    Friday, November 4, 2011 at 11:39 pm | Permalink
  7. mattk wrote:

    too late. you already have your tickets! Don’t know. Why?

    Wednesday, November 9, 2011 at 10:10 pm | Permalink

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